Funny jokes about

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Funny Jokes About helps you to make your marriage last.

If you can’t understand a thing , and you can’t control it, not even a bit , you definitely can make funny jokes about it , and laugh at it.

 
My wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last…

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, mine is in NY.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”
“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!”
So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said “There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!”, so I bought her an electric chair.

My wife told me the car wasn’t running well, there was water in the carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me “In the lake.”

My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn’t lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off…

You want more funny jokes about couples? Just read the category

Funny jokes about kids. Kid at school and kid changing his socks

Funny jokes about Jack changing his socks in a very original manner.
Teacher: These days we are likely to learn subtraction. Jack, if your little sister has ten pencils and you take away four from them. What’s the outcome?
Jack: Oh, let me see. The result is that she is sure to cry.
1 morning a kid named Tom was obtaining dressed in his bedroom preparing to go to school.
His mom stated aloud within the living room, “Remember to place a set of new socks!”
Tom replied, “Yes, Mom, place a set of new socks.”
His mom pronounced, “I mean you should use a brand new pair of socks a day!”
Tom answered again, “Yes, Mom, place a brand new pair of socks everyday.”
Not much later, he left the bedroom and told his mom, “Mom, I can not get my foot in my shoes anymore.”

Funny jokes about a little boy who try to cheat his father:)
Kid : Dad, can you write at nighttime?
Father: I believe so. What do you want me to write?
Kid: Your name on this school card.

You laughed with these funny jokes about kids? Share them:)

Funny jokes about little kids and his smart mommy and funny jokes about how a little kid bring happieness to his grandparents

Just a little kid was eating breakfast 1 morning and got to thinking about things.
“Mommy, mommy, why doesn’t daddy have really numerous hairs on his head?” he asked his mom.
“He thinks a lot,” replied his mom, pleased with herself for picking out such a diplomatic explanation for her husband’s baldness.
Or she was till her son believed for a second and asked, “So, why do you have so a lot hair?”

Funny jokes about lillte kid and happy grandparents:) And only for 10$

Just a little kid and his grandfather are raking leaves within the yard. The little kid finds an earthworm looking to get back again into its hole. He says, “Grandpa,I bet I can place that worm back again in that hole.”
The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you 5 bucks you can’t. It’s as well wiggly and limp to place back again in that little hole.”
The little kid runs to the home and comes back again out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm till it’s straight and stiff like a board. Then he puts the worm back again to the hole.
The grandfather hands the little kid 5 bucks, grabs the hair spray, and runs to the home. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back again out and hands the little kid an additional 5 bucks.
The little kid says, “Grandpa, you already gave me 5 bucks.”
The grandfather replies, “I know. That’s from your grandma.”

Did you liked these funny jokes about youngsters and their smart minds?:) Share them to others

Funny jokes about differences between men and women. In fact it’s just one jokes, differences are more than one:)

Differences between men and women Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy Dumb man + smart woman = affair Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage

Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and ove him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

Married men lived longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

There are 2 times when a man doesn’t understand a woman – before marriage and after marriage.

If I liked this joke a lot does it mean that I have something against women? Not at all , it’s just a funny joke:)) !