Funny jokes about

Posts Tagged ‘condoms’

Funny jokes about condoms , teenagers , pharmacists and read yourlsef:))

A teenager of about 17 has a hot date having a girl, so he went towards the pharmacy to purchase some condoms.

(Conversation as follows)

Pharm: What can I help you achieve?
Teen: I’d like touh.. ah…purchase a condom.
Pharm: Ok. Here you’re. (Sets condom, on counter.)
Teen: (Thinking that was rather simple and painless) Nicely, now that I believe about it, I believe I’ll be needing two condoms.
Pharm: Nicely, ok. (Gets an additional 1).
Teen: (Obtaining bolder.) Really, its a pretty hot date I have tonight, I
believe I’ll be needing four condoms.
(Teen keeps changing his mind and increasing the number of condoms he wants until he’s leaving the pharmacy with 2 dozen condoms)
Now the teenager arrives at his girlfriend’s home. She tells him that he’s
invited to remain for dinner. So he goes in and sits down at the table with all of her family. The father asks if he’d like to say grace prior to beginning the meal. He accepts and says the following:
Teen: Oh Lord, thank you for this food and also the hands that made it, and also the individuals who used your time to grow it and..
. (goes on for nearly 10 minutes, blessing EVERYTHING including the table, the silverware, all of the containers, the floor, etc…) .
..AMEN.
Girl: Gee, I didn’t know that you were truly religious.
Teen: Nicely, I didn’t know that your dad was a pharmacist.

I recently saw a condom machine in a toilet which had a ‘Tested to British Safety Standards’ sign on it..
. Underneath somebody had scrawled…

.SO WAS THE TITANIC !!’

A guy walks into a local pharmacy and approaches the counter exactly where a lady pharmacist is filling prescriptions. When she finally gets close to to helping him he says, “I’d like 99 condoms please”. Having a surprised look on her face the pharmacist says, “99 Condoms!?! Fuck me!” to which the guy replies, “Make it 100″.

Are you ready for 3 sizes in which condoms are sold? Big, medium, and Caucasian.

A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. The minute he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out. Morning, the exact same performance, using the guy walking out laughing fit to bust. The chemist thinks this odd and asks his assistant, that if the guy returns, to adhere to him. Certain sufficient, he comes into the store the next time, repeating his actions as soon as much more. The assistant duly follows. Around 30 minutes later, he returns. “So did you adhere to him?” “I did.” “And..
.exactly where did he go?” “Over to your home..
.”

What does Kodak along with a condom have in typical? You use both to catch those special moments!!!

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Funny jokes about situations in sex life. I trully hope that you are not Pinocchio or that sombody owes you one:)) ! 

Two good friends:
- Tonight I’m going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come?
- Obviously! How numerous individuals are coming?
- Three, should you bring your sweetheart.
A small boy asked his mommy:
- Mommy, why are you white and I’m black?
- Do not even ask me that, when I remember that party…, you’re lucky that you do not bark.

1 woman stops a taxi.
- Towards the airport, please.
Right after ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman within the mirror, says:
- You’re third pregnant woman that I’ve driven towards the airport these days.
- Are you kidding me, I’m not pregnant.
- Nicely, you haven’t arrived towards the international airport yet neither.

1 man calls emergency:
- Come instantly, my small son has swallowed a condom!
Right after five minutes, the same man calls back:
- It’s OK, I discovered one more 1.

Pinocchio talks to Gepetto:
- Dad my dick is all jagged and crooked so I’ve no success with girls.
- You know, my son, I didn’t care too much about that detail, but that ought to not be a issue. Go towards the shop, take a sandpaper and fix it.
Right after some time, Gepetto asks Pinocchio:
- Nicely, did you resolve the issue with the girls?
- Daddy, since I got the sandpaper who needs the girls anymore.