Funny jokes about

Funny jokes about men vs. women. In a strange way although it is funny it is somehow true. I don’t even know how we manage to stand each other. Anyway I’m glad that we can!

RELATIONSHIPS:

Very first, a guy doesn’t call a romantic relationship a romantic relationship – he refers to

it as “that time when me and Suzie were boinking on a semi-regular basis.”

When a romantic relationship ends, a lady will cry and pour her heart out to her

girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled “All Males Are Idiots.” Then she

will get on with her life.

A guy has a bit more trouble letting go. Six months following the breakup- at 3

am early on a Sunday morning – he will call and say “I just wanted you to let

you know you ruined my life, and I’ll never forgive you, and I hate you, and

you’re a total floozy. But I really want you to know there’s always a chance for us.”

This is called the “I Hate You/I Love You” drunken phone call, that 99% of all

males have made at least one time. You will find community colleges that provide courses to

assist males get over this require; unfortunately these classes rarely prove efficient.

SEX:

Ladies choose 30-45 minutes of foreplay.

Males choose 30-45 seconds of foreplay. Males think about driving back to her place as

the main foreplay.

MATURITY:

Ladies mature much quicker than males. Most 17-year-old females can function as

adults.

Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other

wedgies following gym class. For this reason high school romances rarely work out.

HATS:Ladies appear great in hats; males appear like dinks.

In the ZOO:

The difference between women and men is visible in the Zoo within the

monkey house within the reaction women and men need to reactions of monkey antics like lice picking,

scurrying around, screaming and playing with themselves in public:

Ladies go, “Oh that’s disgusting, I can’t watch this and leave.”

At the same time the guys are thinking, “Hey, I could do that.”

COMEDY:

Let’s say a little group of women and men are in a living room, looking at tv, and an episode of

“The Three Stooges” shows up :

Instantly, the males will get really fired up – they will laugh uproariously, and actually attempt to simulate

the actions of Curly, undoubtedly each and every male’s preferred Stooge.

The ladies will roll their eys and groan and wait it out.

HANDWRITING:

To their credit, males don’t decorate their penmanship. They just

chicken-scratch.

Ladies use scented, colored stationery and they dot their “i’s” with

circles and hearts. Ladies use ridiculously big loops in their “p’s”

and “g’s.” It’s a royal pain to read a note from a lady. Even when

she’s dumping you, she’ll put a smiley face at the conclusion of the note.

BATHROOMS:

A guy has at most six products in his bathroom – a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving

cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of products in a typiical woman’s bathroom is 437. A guy would

be unable to identify many of these products.

MAGAZINES:

Male’s magazines frequently feature pictures of naked ladies.

Ladies magazines also feature pictures of naked ladies. The reason being the

female body is really a stunning thing of beauty, while the male body is hairy and lumpy

and shouldn’t be seen by the light of day.

GROCERIES:

A lady makes a summary of points she needs and then goes to the store and buys

these points.

A guy waits until the only products left in his fridge are half of a lemon,

and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything

that looks great. When he reaches the checkout counter, his cart is

packed tighter than the Clampett’s car on The Beverley Hillbillies. Obviously,

this will not stop him from visiting the 10-items-or-less lane.

GOING OUT:

When a guy says he’s all set out, it indicates he’s all set out.

When a lady says she’s all set out, it indicates that she WILL be ready to go

out, the moment she finds her other earring, finishes putting on her makeup…etc.

You are agree with the lines written in this funny joke? You can ask others if they are, just make it social and read the comments after that:)

For more of this you should come back for the second part , for more funny jokes about girls or funny jokes about ladies .