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Funny jokes about men vs. women. In a strange way although it is funny it is somehow true. I don’t even know how we manage to stand each other. Anyway I’m glad that we can!

RELATIONSHIPS:

Very first, a guy doesn’t call a romantic relationship a romantic relationship – he refers to

it as “that time when me and Suzie were boinking on a semi-regular basis.”

When a romantic relationship ends, a lady will cry and pour her heart out to her

girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled “All Males Are Idiots.” Then she

will get on with her life.

A guy has a bit more trouble letting go. Six months following the breakup- at 3

am early on a Sunday morning – he will call and say “I just wanted you to let

you know you ruined my life, and I’ll never forgive you, and I hate you, and

you’re a total floozy. But I really want you to know there’s always a chance for us.”

This is called the “I Hate You/I Love You” drunken phone call, that 99% of all

males have made at least one time. You will find community colleges that provide courses to

assist males get over this require; unfortunately these classes rarely prove efficient.

SEX:

Ladies choose 30-45 minutes of foreplay.

Males choose 30-45 seconds of foreplay. Males think about driving back to her place as

the main foreplay.

MATURITY:

Ladies mature much quicker than males. Most 17-year-old females can function as

adults.

Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other

wedgies following gym class. For this reason high school romances rarely work out.

HATS:Ladies appear great in hats; males appear like dinks.

In the ZOO:

The difference between women and men is visible in the Zoo within the

monkey house within the reaction women and men need to reactions of monkey antics like lice picking,

scurrying around, screaming and playing with themselves in public:

Ladies go, “Oh that’s disgusting, I can’t watch this and leave.”

At the same time the guys are thinking, “Hey, I could do that.”

COMEDY:

Let’s say a little group of women and men are in a living room, looking at tv, and an episode of

“The Three Stooges” shows up :

Instantly, the males will get really fired up – they will laugh uproariously, and actually attempt to simulate

the actions of Curly, undoubtedly each and every male’s preferred Stooge.

The ladies will roll their eys and groan and wait it out.

HANDWRITING:

To their credit, males don’t decorate their penmanship. They just

chicken-scratch.

Ladies use scented, colored stationery and they dot their “i’s” with

circles and hearts. Ladies use ridiculously big loops in their “p’s”

and “g’s.” It’s a royal pain to read a note from a lady. Even when

she’s dumping you, she’ll put a smiley face at the conclusion of the note.

BATHROOMS:

A guy has at most six products in his bathroom – a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving

cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of products in a typiical woman’s bathroom is 437. A guy would

be unable to identify many of these products.

MAGAZINES:

Male’s magazines frequently feature pictures of naked ladies.

Ladies magazines also feature pictures of naked ladies. The reason being the

female body is really a stunning thing of beauty, while the male body is hairy and lumpy

and shouldn’t be seen by the light of day.

GROCERIES:

A lady makes a summary of points she needs and then goes to the store and buys

these points.

A guy waits until the only products left in his fridge are half of a lemon,

and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything

that looks great. When he reaches the checkout counter, his cart is

packed tighter than the Clampett’s car on The Beverley Hillbillies. Obviously,

this will not stop him from visiting the 10-items-or-less lane.

GOING OUT:

When a guy says he’s all set out, it indicates he’s all set out.

When a lady says she’s all set out, it indicates that she WILL be ready to go

out, the moment she finds her other earring, finishes putting on her makeup…etc.

You are agree with the lines written in this funny joke? You can ask others if they are, just make it social and read the comments after that:)

For more of this you should come back for the second part , for more funny jokes about girls or funny jokes about ladies .

Funny jokes about girls or how they are making our lives bitter sweet:))

Funny jokes about girls! Also available for ladies or any woman over 18 who is not single ! )

In fact I think it’s about a sort of magic or some stuff like that. When they are alone or they don’t know you like them there is no problem, you can talk to them normally and very many of them are nice people but in the moment they realize you want more than just a chat friend,  the magic comes in place and ….read below what is happening )

Oh!…Ladies!
If you’re nicely dressed, she thinks you are a playboy.
If you’re not, she thinks you are rugged.
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman,
If you do not, you are not a man.
If you praise her, she thinks you are a liar,
If you do not, you are great for absolutely nothing.
If you agree with all her likes, she is abusing,
If you do not, you are not knowing.
If you go to her frequently, she thinks you are boring,
If you do not, she accuses you of double-crossing.
If you go to one more, she accuses you of becoming a heel,
If she is visited by one more, “Oh! It is all natural, we’re girls.”
If you’re a minute late, she complains, “It’s difficult to wait.”
If you arrive on time, for hours she can make you wait.
If you propose sex inside a brief acquaintanceship, you are a fresh guy,
If you postpone sex later, she wonders why.
If you fail to help her in crossing a street, you lack ethic,
If you do, she thinks it is just one of man’s tactics.
If you’re jealous, she says it is poor,
If you’re not, she doubts your adore, and isn’t glad.
If you attempt romance, she says you do not respect her,
If you do not, she thinks you do not like her.
If you listen, she would like you to speak,
If you speak, she would like you to listen.
If you contradict her, she doesn’t like it,
If you do not, she believes you are easily fooled.

P.S.

The title is “Funny jokes about girls” . The word jokes suggest more jokes than one but the second funny joke I intended to put in this post it was to long and I will put it in another post. If  you liked this funny joke just spread it.

For more jokes related with  “Funny jokes about girls” try to look into “Funny jokes about blondes” category  )